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Welcome! My name is Haley, I'm a 25 year old book-aholic. I'm a book reviewer for the RiverTalk Newspaper. I love reading YA, NA, and adult paranormal mostly, but I do go into other genres on occasion. If you want to talk more one on one about books, please don't hesitate to contact me on facebook or twitter, I love making new bookish friends!






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Dear Jacob Black,

Hi. How are you doing? Me? Not so good. You see, I have a bone to pick with you (tacky pun intended).

Okay, first of all, why on God’s green Earth did you ever fall for Bella? I mean, really. Even the most fanatic of Twi-fans can’t understand what you see in her. You are so much better than Bella Swan-Cullen (insert gagging noises here).

No, don’t get down on yourself, you are!

Look at you; you’re a hulking stack of gorgeousness both on paper and on-screen. You’re also really sweet and funny and strong and... swoon... Did I tell you that my husband is Indian—mind you, he’s not the same kind of Indian as you, but yeah, I appreciate that look (wink, wink, Jakey boy).

Back to my point... I don’t think I ever would have finished the entire Saga if it hadn’t been for you. You are just the kind of guy I would love to be friends with. You made Twilight so, so interesting. And that scene at the end of Eclipse when you told Edward that Bella loves you too? I almost died. I mean, that was one of the best scenes in modern fiction. Seriously, Jacob, it was, and that was because of you!

It’s cool how you were always there for Bella, no matter what the consequences—not that she deserved your unwavering loyalty. It is also cool how you not only ride motorcycles, but you also fix them. You’re a man’s man and a ladies’ man, Jacob Black.

But do you wanna know what’s not cool? It’s so not cool how you fell in love with baby Renesme.

So. Not. Cool!

I understand that there was some kind of cosmic imprinting thing going on, but yuck! I mean, she’s a baby, and she’s not even interesting anyway. I personally think your saga would have ended much better if there had never ever been a Renesme. She shouldn’t’ve existed not only from the freak of nature standpoint (cus let’s face it, you’re a freak of nature too, and I like you a whole lot), but from a literary standpoint. I don’t feel like she contributed to the plot at all. It was kind of a mess.

But what do you know about that? Did I just rock your world by revealing that your whole existence takes place within the pages of a book? I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to reveal this secret. Darn it! I have to be more careful.

But now that you do know and hopefully you’ve recovered from the shock a bit, I have to say this: the imprinting business with Renesme, that’s not really the universe playing games with you. It’s Stephenie Meyer. Oh, in case you didn’t know, Stephenie Meyer is the name of your God. She created you.

Anyway, I believe she had you imprint on Renesme for two reasons:

1. She didn’t want you to be alone after Bella rejected you but also decided to keep you hanging around on a tight leash (another bad pun, sorry) – but this bit shows that your God does love you – yay!

2. She was sick of people saying that 100ish-year-old Edward diggin’ on 18-year-old Bella was disgusting. She wanted them to be like Romeo and Juliet, so innocent, so fated. So what does she do? She takes the heat off of them by giving you an even more disgusting love affair. Gee, thanks, Steph.

I personally think you should be with Leah Clearwater. Maybe if the two of you both gouge out your eyes all Oedipus Rex-style, that horrific imprint will go away, and you can just be together.

I also think there’s a chance you could find happiness with Shapri Teak—she lives inside of my book, Farsighted. I’d be more than happy to introduce you...

So...

In summary, while Ms. Meyer clearly loved you, she loved Edward more.

Just like Bella. Ha, burn!



I come from a place of kindness. Eternally yours,



PS Edward sucks! Team Jacob!

PPS Do you know a guy named Sirius Black? If so, are you related to him? You have more in common than just your last name---aaaaawoooo!

Blog Tour Notes




Farsighted by Emlyn Chand
Paperback/Ebook 280 pages
Series




Alex Kosmitoras may be blind, but he can still “see” things others can’t.  When his unwanted visions of the future begin to suggest that the girl he likes could be in danger, he has no choice but to take on destiny and demand it reconsider. Get your copy today by visiting Amazon.com’s Kindle store or the eBook retailer of your choice. The paperback edition will be available on November 24 (for the author’s birthday).








Author info: twitter . facebook . website
Emlyn Chand has always loved to hear and tell stories, having emerged from the womb with a fountain pen grasped firmly in her left hand (true story). When she’s not writing, she runs a large book club in Ann Arbor and is the president of author PR firm, Novel Publicity. Emlyn loves to connect with readers and is available throughout the social media interweb. Visit www.emlynchand.com for more info. Don’t forget to say “hi” to her sun conure Ducky!







THE CASH PRIZES:  Guess what? You could win a $100 Amazon gift card as part of this special blog tour. That’s right! Just leave a comment below saying something about the post you just read, and you’ll be entered into the raffle. I could win $100 too! Please help by voting for my blog in the traffic-breaker poll. To cast your vote, visit the official Farsighted blog tour page and scroll all the way to the bottom. Thank you for your help with that, make sure you vote for YA-AHOLIC. If I do win (which seems highly unlikely haha) I will use a big majority of the 100$ for a giveaway! (:

THE GIVEAWAYS:  Win 1 of 10 autographed copies of Farsighted before its paperback release by entering the giveaway on GoodReads. Perhaps you’d like an autographed postcard from the author; you can request one on her site.

48 comments:

FallenAngel said...

I know Team Jacob all the way!!

Brittany C. said...

Great post! Team Jacob all the way!! ;)

Coranne said...

Ha ha ha- I totally agree about the imprinting.... I'm sorry, not matter how many explanations I hear... it is still weird. O_o

Lissa Lynn said...

Oh my goodness, very well said!! I agree with pretty much everything you said! (Well I do like Bella-in the book, not so much in the movies) But honestly, poor Jake! I also thought he and Leah would have been good together, she deserves a happy ending too!

Yvonne said...

OMG! That was so funny! I loved it! :) Team Jacob all the way :D

Wolfluvr420 said...

I agree with about everything you said! Sadly, I can't really be like "oh he is so hot!" because he looks just like my cousin. I have complained to said cousin many times about how he ruined Jake for me and he just laughs.

The Romance Bookie said...

I loved the part at the end where you ask if Jacob's related to Sirius Black! hahahaha

Emlyn Chand said...

Yay! I made it onto YA-Aholic! I think this means I'm famous now ;-)

Thank you Team Jacobites for showing your support. Seriously, how does Team Edward even exist?

Wolfluver420, I totally feel for you. How could your cousin do that to you?!

haleyeliseread said...

omg, wolfluver420...introduce me to your cousin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



I am actually team edward, not movie wise, but book wise, Jacob was just too whiny ahah (:

Sherry Gammon Author Of Unlovable said...

Okay! This is hilarious! I, like Haley, am team Edward... in the books, BUT in the movies, I am Team Jacob all the way!!
Great guest post!!

Yiota said...

Ha! Jacob is the reason i finished Twilight too! I really liked him as a character and i could totally love to have him as a friend :) He is such a good guy!

Lovely post! I was giggling all the time XD

NerdyGirl88 said...

Great post! I have to say though, I'm neither Team Edward nor Team Jacob.... I'm TEAM ERIC! ;)

Yes I still enjoy Twilight, but I'm so over it!

I think the park about Jacob imprinting on Renesme is just a little weird and creepy. I haven't read BD yet...(Yes I'm aware I ruined it for myself) but I still plan on reading it and watching the movie. I have to at least finish the series right?

Loved the guest post, it was really great. Too funny! And the puns? Loved them! ;)

Good luck everyone!!! :D

(TEAM ERIC & SOOKIE! :P)

SarahS said...

This is so funny, loved it.

Christy (Love of Books) said...

Hahaha this is hilarious. Sorry, but I'm more team Volturi. :-)

Emlyn Chand said...

If I understand correctly, there's a pretty sizable Team Jasper out there as well. What's with that?!

Emlyn Chand said...

Yiota, I totally finished the series for two reasons (and only two reasons)...

1. Jacob
2. Carlisle

There totally needs to be a Carlisle prequel. I would love to learn more about his early days as a blood sucker :-D

Amy said...

LOL! I love this. Seriously, I've been writing for NaNo all day and this just lifted my spirits.

When I read the Twilight books a zillion years ago, I understood that imprinting did not equal love attraction. That it changed with age, from protector, to friend, to lover, etc. Meaning Jacob wasn't in love with Renesme because she's just a baby. He was more like an overprotective nanny. But still, that only means that when she grows up, he will be her lover. So yes, I find it creepy.

And I TOTALLY agree with you, when you say that Jacob would have been better with Leah Clearwater. I seriously thought they would end up together. Then the shit hit the fan, and it messed everything up.

Jacob is the reason I watch those silly movies. And Jacob will be the reason I one day re-read the saga. Go Team Jacob!

Jessica said...

I am in LOVE with that Dear Jacob letter. I've been Team Jacob forever, I liked the story the way it went with Bella & Edward, but I wasn't a big fan of Renesme's existence either. The whole imprinting concept is a weird one to me.

& Taylor bringing Jacob to life on the big screen is the only reason I go to see the movies :)

Jessica @ The Midnight Bookworm

Evie said...

I totally agree with your post! Amazing!
And yes Renesme is such an useless character. Jacob would be so much better with Leah. It'd be so much easier and natural.

LisaILJ said...

I loved this post. TEAM JACOB!! My favorite scene with him is when he purposely tormented Edward with flashback of what Bella went through when Edward left her. It was so awesomely mean.

The Lovely Getaway said...

hahahahaaaaaaaa! BURN! aww..... Team Jacob all the way! I literally laughed out loud at the "bing related to Sirius Black" comment... I really think he is :D

Sophia Chang said...

This post is all kinds of YES!!!!!!

I agree with absolutely everything she had to say and I'm also a Leah-Jacob shipper. TEAM JACOB!!!

marybelle said...

Now Sirius Black - there's someone I can get on board with.

marypres(AT)gmail(DOT)com

Book Passion for Life said...

Awesome post! Personally I love Jacob but I love Edward more!

Totally think Haley deserves to win the $100 giftcard.....totally awesome person....some make sure you vote for her guys!

Donna
bookpassion11@gmail.com

melissa said...

This was a totally epic post! Jacob listen to her! lol.

mel91284 at yahoo dot com

Nichole said...

That was one of the best posts I have ever read. Seriously, it was beautiful and awesome and hilarious and epic and SO TRUE! (In my opinion). REALLY enjoyed this post :)

chiri_chan29330@yahoo.com
-Nichole

Yto said...

god i loved this post XD i had to grin through it all. i loved jacob from book two onwards. he was just great. edward was okay, but got on my nerves after awhile - especially in book 2 and ongoing - well jacob just killed him off for me XD

witchvela at web dot de

miki said...

great post

i will try to help you win ^^

isabelle(dot)frisch(at)gmail(dot)com

Ashley G. said...

Love the letter to Jacob. It's too funny. Thanks for the gift card giveaway!

abgafford@gmail.com

Ifrah said...

Awesome !! I love the letter :D I am also Team Jacob !

starlight023(AT)hotmail(DOT)com

Jessica said...

LOL! This was hilarious! I'm Team Edward in the books and Team Jacob in the movies. Edward comes across as so mean in the movies!

MoonStar said...

haha this post was hilarious. Actually laught out loud :P But it made sence. :P Team Jacob
I have no idea were to begin. Just fun reading :P haha

line_boegh(a)hotmail.com

Emlyn Chand said...

Wow, there's a lot of Jacob love out there. I guess we girls will have to fight for him :-D

Thank you for all the great comments. I'm so glad you enjoyed my letter. I hope Jacob gets it, because these are things he just needs to hear!

lexirylie said...

Ha ha great post!
Lol now I'm thinking about sirius black in Jacobs family!

primrose said...

Team Jacob absolutely! Edward is just bland..ops

Pabkins said...

I agree total yuck, but then I felt like that about pretty much most of the series - not yuck per say but just, I wasn't impressed. Too much hype and not enough meat there.

Pabkins @ Mission to Read

Caitlin said...

Absolutely love this post. Jacob Black was the most interesting character in this series even though technically he is a shifter not a true werewolf. Bella so not anything special she just teased Jacob the entire time and him imprinting on the child is just dumb. I'm sorry but I have definitely read WAY better books/series.

Stacy Lynn Carroll said...

This post made me laugh so hard! Ha ha! Love it!!

Emlyn Chand said...

I hear ya guys. I'll take HP or Hunger Games over Twilight any day! BTW Caitlin, Sirius is a shifter too (not a werewolf); I think that's enough evidence to prove they're related!

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